Mentor Coach: Colin Lee
24th May 2023
After attending 50% of this coaching course, I have come to appreciate the immense power of asking questions. According to Coach Colin, questions have a unique ability to trigger a mental reflex called “instinctive elaboration” in individuals, leading to profound insights, growth, and transformation.
In this post, I want to explore the art of asking questions and share some do’s and don’ts I learned yesterday and over the past 11 modules.
✅ The Do’s of Asking Questions ✅
1️⃣ Cultivate Curiosity: Embrace a mindset of continuous learning and a genuine interest in understanding the clients. Be genuinely curious about their experiences, perspectives, and aspirations. This curiosity will ignite a sense of trust and create a safe space for open dialogue and self-reflection.
2️⃣ Practice Active Listening: Before formulating your question, practice active listening. Be fully present in the moment, attentively absorbing what the other person is saying. This not only demonstrates respect but also enables you to ask insightful follow-up questions that delve deeper into the heart of the matter.
3️⃣ Focus on Open-Ended Questions: When crafting your questions, focus on open-ended ones that invite thoughtful responses. Open-ended questions encourage individuals to think more deeply and share their unique perspectives, experiences, and ideas.
4️⃣ Frame Your Questions with Empathy and Sensitivity: Consider the emotional context and the individual’s perspective when framing your questions. By doing so, you create a space where individuals feel heard, validated, and supported, allowing for deeper introspection and personal growth.
5️⃣ Skillfully Employ Follow-up Questions: The art of asking questions is not limited to a single query. Skillfully employ follow-up questions to dig deeper into the nuances and underlying motivations. Follow-up questions demonstrate your genuine interest and commitment to understanding the individual’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences, leading to rich and meaningful conversations.
❌ The Don’ts of Asking Questions ❌
1️⃣ Leading Questions: Don’t ask leading questions that suggest a particular answer or steer the conversation in a predetermined direction. Instead, focus on neutral and open-ended queries that empower individuals to think independently and discover their own truth.
2️⃣ Judgment and Criticism: Don’t use questions as a means of judgment or criticism. Creating a safe and non-judgmental environment is crucial for productive conversations. When individuals feel judged, they become defensive and guarded, inhibiting their ability to reflect and share openly.
3️⃣ Overwhelming with Questions: Don’t overwhelm the clients with an excessive number of inquiries. Pace your questions appropriately, giving individuals time to reflect and respond. Remember, the quality of the questions matters more than the quantity.
4️⃣ Assumptions and Stereotypes: Don’t make assumptions or rely on stereotypes when formulating questions. Every individual is unique, and assumptions can limit your ability to truly understand and connect with them. Approach each conversation with an open mind and genuine curiosity, allowing individuals to share their authentic selves without preconceived notions.
5️⃣ One-Size-Fits-All Approach: Don’t use a one-size-fits-all approach to questioning. Each individual is on their unique journey, with different needs, experiences, and perspectives. Tailor your questions to the individual, considering their background, goals, and aspirations. Customizing your inquiries shows that you value their individuality and are committed to their growth and development.
Listen to the human being behind the answers
Colin Lee
Although I do not exactly understand what Colin wanted to say with the above quote, here’s how I look at it:
