Mentor Coach: Mel Leow
14th Jun 2023
According to bestselling author and positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, a flow state is:
Being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one……… Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi
We all want to experience the flow state that Mihály describes. It is when we fully engage in what we are doing, concentrating on the present activity and not being distracted by our usual thoughts. It is in this “zone” that we transcend time, and everything that happens here becomes effortless.
But where is this “zone”?
To attain a flow state, it is necessary to strike a balance between discipline and surrender. This involves participating in an activity that is both challenging and personally rewarding, utilizing one’s honed skills in a specific domain.
However, in order to unleash creativity and achieve peak performance, it is crucial to release conscious thoughts, expectations, and the fear of failure. By quieting our minds and surrendering ourselves to the experience, we can enter a flow state.
Flow also reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s book, “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos“. In it, he refers to Order and Chaos.
Remaining stagnant in a state of unchanging order throughout your life is not desirable. The optimal position lies in finding a balance between order and chaos. It involves having sufficient order to feel grounded and stable while embracing enough chaos to be stimulated and acquire new knowledge. This delicate equilibrium is where significance and purpose can be discovered.
Discipline «» Surrender and Order «» Chaos.
Same-same but not the same.
I believe achieving the flow state is something that must be learned, not taught. We trust our ability and domain knowledge, yet we are not afraid of stepping into the unknown. Vulnerable, but not weak.
The C.O.A.C.H.-ing Framework
As later modules will expound on this framework, I will only touch it briefly here.
C for Core
The coachee’s ultimate WHY. We help them dig deep to find their core desire. Why do they want what they want? This is the most important, for without knowing one’s deep why, we may end up barking at the wrong tree.
O for Outcome
The WHAT. What is it that the coachees really want? More of the things they like or less of what they dislike?
A for Awareness
The Germans have a proverb which advises, “Selbsterkenntnis ist der erste Schritt zur Besserung,” or “Self-awareness is the first step to improvement.” Here’s where we help our coachees to check their rearview mirror now and then.
C for Connect
As social beings, our innate nature is to establish connections with others. These connections give us a deeper sense of purpose and significance in life.
H for Highpoint
As a coach, celebrating our coachee’s life acknowledges and affirms their individuality and unique experiences, fostering a sense of value and self-worth. Doing so also helps build a positive and supportive coaching relationship, creating an environment of trust and encouragement. Additionally, celebrating milestones and achievements can boost their confidence, motivation, and overall well-being, ultimately enhancing their personal growth and development.
It looks like the next 12 modules will be exciting! Can’t wait.
The purpose of the flow is to keep on flowing, not looking for a peak or utopia but staying in the flow.
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi
