Mentor Coach: Colin Lee
9th Aug 2023
20% Return Per Month. Guaranteed
“Bro, I’ve got an investment opportunity for you,” my friend P said. “A friend said he could help me invest my money and gave me a 20% ROI in one month. You want to join in?”
Me: “20% ROI a month? Really?”
P: “Yes. And he said it’s guaranteed. He said he’s been doing this for years.”
Me: “Wow! He must be better than Warren Buffett, whose annual ROI is only around 14%. But your friend can even guarantee it? What’s the minimum investment?”
P: “$20,000. But I intend to give him $50,000.”
Me: “If he’s so good, how come he needs your money?”
P: “Oh, he said he needed at least $100,000 for this investment to work. So he’s asking around. He will take a 5% cut from my profit.”
Me: “If he could guarantee a 20% return in one month, isn’t it better for him to borrow that money from the bank and keeps all the profit? After all, the bank interest is pretty low now. Are you sure it’s not a scam?”
P: “Oh, you’ve got a point. I must think about it now.”
A common friend told me two months later that P had lost $50,000 to a scammer. After inquiring further, I discovered that it’s the same thing P and I discussed two months ago.
Filters & Coloured Lenses
Last night’s training by Coach Colin reminded me of my experience above.
When P heard about the too-good-to-be-true ROI opportunity, he was wearing the everything-is-possible and it’s-possible-to-be-rich-overnight filters, consequently throwing caution to the wind.
As for me, my filters were of the sceptical types. You may call it ‘common sense’. But common sense is not so common nowadays. So, for the sake of this web-torial, let’s stick to filters.
All of us wear filters or coloured lenses throughout the day. And most of the time, we’re not aware of their presence. It’s the result of years of living and not questioning our beliefs. We think it’s normal.
If a person wearing pink-coloured lenses is not aware that he’s wearing them or is reluctant to remove them, everything he sees will be pink.
Unless we’re aware of our thoughts and feelings, it’s impossible to know we have our filters on while listening and talking.
Every coachee comes with a set of filters. And if the coach also comes with his/her own set of filters, I doubt the coaching can be effective.
As coaches, we must practice this awareness regularly, if not daily, especially when coaching somebody. Otherwise, we’ll be doing a disservice to our clients.
VAKAd – Where The Golden Rule Doesn’t Apply
The “Styles” part of last night’s training was about how we receive and give information.
After the VAKAd assessment, I discovered I belong to the Ad type of communication style.
However, knowing my style is not as important as knowing what style the coachee belongs to.
If I use my Ad style to coach a coachee who uses a strong K communication style, I may stumble his growth as he will probably only get a little out of the coaching session.
So, for effective communication’s sake, I may have to throw the “do unto others what you want others to do unto you” Golden Rule out of the window during coaching sessions.
Great Power Can Be Dangerous
Using the correct communication style to communicate our message is an extremely powerful, albeit at times dangerous, method.
Used correctly, we can help someone. Misused, we can hurt someone.
My friend P falls under the K style of communication. I’m not surprised that the scammer knew about this and thus used touchy-feely words to convince P to invest.
And to make matters worse, P has already decided to invest before asking me. Because of the filters he had, he wasn’t asking me for information. He was merely asking for confirmation.
Since I didn’t give him the confirmation he wanted, he probably went to look for someone else to confirm his decision and, consequently, gave his money to his scammer friend.
Self-Awareness – The Key
My greatest takeaway from last night’s session is this. As an Ad type, I tend to take mental notes and form conclusions while listening. Consequently, I may miss out on much information given by the coachee.
Therefore, I must always be conscious and learn to switch off my Ad mode while listening. At the same time, I must also be aware of the possible filters I wear while listening to the coachee.
I believe this will enable me to adjust and realign throughout the coaching interactions whilst maintaining complete focus on the coachee rather than the desire to show off my ‘right conclusion.”
My Only Control
I can’t control what the coachee says. I can’t control what filters she’s wearing. And I definitely can’t change a coachee’s style of communication.
But what I can control are my thoughts and behaviours. And it starts with self-awareness.
