Mentor Coach: Joan C
5th Apr 2023
First off, let me start off with ICF’s definition:
Partners with the client to create a safe, supportive environment that allows the client to share freely. Maintains a relationship of mutual respect and trust.
International Coaching Federation
The six sub-competencies are as follows:
- Seeks to understand the client within their context, which may include their identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs.
- Demonstrates respect for the client’s identity, perceptions, style and language and adapts one’s coaching to the client.
- Acknowledges and respects the client’s unique talents, insights and work in the coaching process.
- Shows support, empathy, and concern for the client.
- Acknowledges and supports the client’s expression of feelings, perceptions, concerns, beliefs and suggestions.
- Demonstrates openness and transparency to display vulnerability and build trust with the client.
Ok, the “politically right” (and SEO) stuff is out of the way.
Let’s talk shop!
How do we establish trust and safety?
Unless we’re lawyers or prosecutors, we tend to trust people easily.
Case in point: When we board a plane, how do we know it is safe to fly, is fully fueled, or the pilot and his crew are well trained?
That’s because we trust the airline, albeit subconsciously.
How do new coachees trust me when it is our first meeting? It may be because they trust the referrals or the testimonials.
However, when a coaching relationship starts, trust either progresses or deteriorates.
The Chinese character for trust is 信. It comprises the symbols “human” and “words”. It means a man and his words.
So, to me, trust is like honouring our words. We mean what we say and say what we mean.
A “yes” is a “yes”, and “no” is a “no”, and nothing in between.
Ergo, the frequency of our honouring our words to the coachee determines the trust level.
And the higher the trust level, the safer the coachees will feel telling us about their life challenges.
Trust and safety are inseparable like:
- Salt and pepper
- Dogs and fleas
- Eggs and bacon
- Peanut butter and jelly
So, yes. No trust, no safety.
No peanut butter, no jelly.
