“Pain is inevitable. But suffering is optional.”
Haruki Murakami
And the difference is?
Imagine someone said you’re good for nothing when you were a teenager. Your natural reaction was to feel hurt (pain) back then. But if you continue to believe that you’re good for nothing even when you’re in your thirties, forties or even fifties, you’re suffering.
Or you broke your leg after falling from a flight of stairs. If you are in pain, you observe – my leg hurts. But if you are suffering, you think – I’ll never walk the same way again.
Or your best friend succumbed to cancer. If you’re in pain, you feel sad. But if you’re suffering, you think, “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
When we are in pain, we are reacting to what something is. But when we are suffering, we are obsessed over what something means.
Simply put – Pain is a natural response. Suffering is a mental fixation.
Suffering is far worse.
You can’t feel pain for what will happen in the future. But you can suffer for what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow.
Pain is primarily external. Suffering is always internal.
Only through suffering can we compress decades of pain into a single moment.
Are you still tormented over what your parents said about you twenty years ago? Or that betrayal ten years ago? The pain is long gone, but you can still suffer by dwelling in the past.
You can’t control pain. But you can prevent suffering.
So, what’s the cure?
Here’s a simple one: Focus on the present. Focus on what you can control.
I know. It sounds cliche. But who cares if it works, right?
Everyone feels pain at times – but you don’t have to suffer so much. You’re not choosing the pain, but you’re selecting the suffering.
So, from what are you suffering?
